| I'd walk through hell for you. Let it burn right through my shoes. |
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[30 Oct 2004|12:59pm] |
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hah! hola ladles and jellyspoons.
my deepest apologies for neglecting you.
but....if you're at all interested...i'm at www.xanga.com/allchokedup88
and life is insane, but for the most part better...hanging in there.
cha-cha-ciao
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| ...and all that jazz. |
[20 Jul 2004|10:08pm] |
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Chicaaaago |
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Well. Ana is contemplating love and dance these days...
I have the sudden urge to get up and dance all the time...Ah-ha! maybe i will!
Or maybe someone needs to take me to learn some DDR and swing dancing...yep..yep..i think so.
(sorry for the short entry)
*Ana*
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| And we're done, done, done with all the fuck, fuck, fuckin' around |
[18 Jul 2004|08:17pm] |
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Black Cadillacs-Modest Mouse |
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I bought Modest Mouse's new cd...I already had a copy of their old one that i got earlier this summer and loved...so i knew this one would be worth it too..
get ready to feel betrayed...i started a xanga today...if anyone has any remote interest in it, the link is http://www.xanga.com/allchokedup88
if not..you can beat me up.
but oh my goodness that site is so addicting..
and there is hope for me..seriously and amazing hope for me and i feel like pooping and peeing my pants it's so exciting.
also mistah mayer is coming up real soon along with the glorious maroon 5...i am going to have to drink no liquids like a week in advance because this is so effing exciting...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAHJKSAJKShjsagjRFytarsyay
JOHN MAYER!
*Ana*
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| Look into my eyes, it's easy to see 1 and 1 makes 2, 2 and 1 makes 3 |
[17 Jul 2004|09:39pm] |
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Tribute-Tenacious D |
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well. I feel grateful for little things in my life....the people i know, for example...i learn new things about the people at my church with every trip i go on with them...it's amazing..they're amazing..some of them drive me insane, some of them i could never part with...but i am very glad to say that i know some of them....they have changed my life in ways i don't even know how to express...but last night i definitely came to this realization...
i also love the 90s...by the way.
I'm kind of feeling something toward a couple different guys currently, but I'm not going pursue any of them...just going to sit it out and see if anything could happen with any of them...I have never felt something towards more than maybe 2 guys at a time...but right now it's kind of crazy...the sad thing is they all are good ones.
puh.
*Ana*
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| She's alone...We're alone... |
[16 Jul 2004|09:57pm] |
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Brick-Ben Folds Five |
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Ok. So i have yet again returned to this disgusting town...and so i'm sure you all are awaiting for me to tell you about my week....but how bout i just tell you what i have learned...
*Getting simply respect from certain people is probably one of the best things ever
*Sometimes even if you're just a year apart from someone it can make A LOT of difference
*Sometimes even if you're just a year apart from someone it can make NO difference
*People who know how to make me laugh a good laugh are automatically amazing (let's make sure to have that as a requirement for whoever i marry)
*I can tolerate guys A LOT better than girls
*I have officially seen TOO much (ahem) of certain things at the guys at my church
*I am proud to not be boy crazy...boy are there A LOT of girls who are
*Acoustic guitar is orgasmic
*Dean Wagner is the coolest man on the face of this earth
*Crying may not get you anywhere but it somehow always leads to laughter
*Courtney knows how to make my life worth living...like showing up right after i was about to go call her to see if she could come
*I hate when girls are moody about dumb stuff
*Sometimes people can make me feel like the ugliest person alive...and then soon enough i feel like the luckiest and most beautiful girl alive
*I find friends at the strangest times
*I suck at playing pool
*Some guys just aren't too fond of Mrs. Potato Head
*Dance Parties involving Vanilla Ice, Come on Eileen, Eye of the Tiger and such are very good dance parties
*I don't appreciate real food enough until I leave home
*Playing Go Fish is a good way to waste time and feel really dumb
*I got to live around 2 of the most ADD filled boys in America this week and I frankly do not enjoy ADD
*I am very bad at canoeing...therefore easily tipped and laughed at
*Having alone time is good, but being with people you love is even better
*Some people do really dumb things for attention
*If you offer to pay me for a hug or ask to take a shower with me, you're really sucking at life
*Apparently I am somewhat capable of being a 1st soprano
*I have a true 2nd family
*I am glad I never have to be a freshman again
and finally...
*I LOVE MUSIC.
*Ana*
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| I know what you're thinkin, I know how you're feeling, You're not alone |
[11 Jul 2004|03:02pm] |
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Anthem of our dying day-Story of the year |
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Ok...so i lied..i need to pass time
FIRSTS:
1. First best friend: Nathan or Bobby...it's a tie
2. First car: ): not yet...but my mom's car when i was born was an ugly silver ford taurus from the mid 80s
3. First real kiss: puh..not yet...my friend david used to kiss me a lot in 1st grade..but i'm not sure if it counted
4. First screen name: MANYKURLS (ever since i was 8 years old (: )
5. First self purchased album: Probably the Rugrats Movie Soundtrack when i was 9 (I know..I'm just THAT cool)
6. First funeral: Never been to one...by choice.
7. First pet: Well...MY first one (since we've had way too many animals) was Preston back when i was 9...what an awesome dog
8. First piercing/tattoos: Just my regular lobes when I was 4
9. First Credit Card: puh
10. First enemy: Jill Kolba (haha! Nathan!)
11. First big trip: Ohio (:
12. First music you remember hearing in your house: Michael Jackson...and Sinead O' Connor's "Nothing Compares to you"
LASTS:
1. Last cigarette: nunca
2. Last car ride: This morning for church and the store...
3. Last kiss: I've never been kissed for real by anyone besides my family...and a few friends
4. Last good cry: Every once a week
5. Last library book checked out: The Crucible for summer reading
6. Last movie seen in theatres: Shrek 2
7. Last beverage drank: White Grape Peach juice
8. Last food consumed: Macaroni and Cheese
9. Last crush: hahhh hmm..
10. Last phone call: umm...probably my sister or dad
11. Last time showered: this morning
12. Last shoes worn: my dress shoes for church
13. Last item bought: Emily's birthday gifts (i cannot expose them yet!!)
14. Last annoyance: looking at the clock and realizing i still have a while til i go
15. Last time wanting to die:When i worked at b&k....
16. Last time scolded:Yesterday
17. Who are your best friends: Courtney...
18.Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend: No...and I'm quite content with it currently...just waiting it out
FASHION STUFF
1. Where are your favorite places to shop: the dollar store and the thrift
2. Number of pierceings/tattoos: 2 seperate ones in lobes...one in mid-cartilage...and one in some random place on my ear
SPECIFICS:
1. Do you do drugs: no
2. What kind of shampoo do you use:w/e is in the shower
3. What are you most scared of:never finding my soulmate....
4. Where do you want to get married:somewhere beautiful...
5. What are you listening to right now:homegrown
6. How many buddies are online: 36
7.What would you change about yourself: my out of shape-ness
FAVORITES:
1. Colors: orange and blue
2. Foods: italian
3. Girl names: Anika
4. Boys names: Lanny
5. Subject in school: err
6. Animals: dogs...
7. Sports: floor hockey and swimming
8. Perfume: some stuff from victoria's secret
9. Cologne: the sex cologne (;
HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Given anyone a bath: i watched my nephew get lots of baths...
2. Smoked: no
3. Bungee jumped: no
4. Made yourself throw-up: when i was sick and i had to in order to feel better
5. Skinny dipped: no
6. Been in love: I thought so...
7. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble: no
8. Pictured your crush naked: hah..hmm..uhm
9. Seen your crush naked: no
10. Cried when someone died: of course
11. Lied: Yes
12. Fallen for your best friend: no?
13. Been rejected: hah hah
14. Rejected someone: yes...
15. Used someone: no
16. Done something you regret: yes...many times
CURRENT:
1. Clothes: an old SCS shirt and shorts...a scarve in my hair...
2. Music: still homegrown
3. Make-up: yea...
4. Annoyance: the clock...
5. Smell: i can't smell my room...
6.favorite artist: ben folds
7. Desktop picture: bekah, amanda, erin and i...
8. Book your reading: nada yet..
9. Cd in player: homegrown...
LAST PERSON:
1. You touched: myself?
2. Hugged: my aunt i think...
3. IMed: matt
4. You kissed: my mom?
ARE YOU:
1. Understanding: yes
2. Open-minded: it depends
3. Arrogant: no
4. Insecure: yes...at times
5. Interesting: I hope...
6. Hungry: yes...very much so
7. Smart: so i'm told
8. Moody: depends on who i'm around
9. Hardworking: yes
10. Organized: not a bit
11. Healthy: I try,....but sometimes you just gotta eat the ice cream
12. Shy: depends who i'm around
13. Attractive: some say yes...most say no...
14. Bored easily: oh heck yes
15. Responsible: i try to be
16. Obsessed: depends on what it is
17. Angry: i can be
18. Sad: at least twice a week
19. Disappointed: at least twice a week
20. Happy: yes...i have to be happy at least once a week
21. Hyper: no..nervous
22. Trusting: not too much
23. Talkative: i can be...more-so online
24. Legal: NEVER!!
WHO DO YOU WANNA:
1. Kill: no one
2. Slap: no names are being mentioned
3. Get high with: wtf?..definitely not...
4. Look like: i would prefer to look like myself
5. Talk to offline: all the people i love
6. Talk to online: all the people i love
RANDOM:
1. In the morning I am: confused
2. All I need is: to find that ONE person
3. Love is: amazing...i hope...
4. I dream about: anyone i love...
*Ana*
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| She's sitting here beside me...and she is gone.. |
[10 Jul 2004|11:28pm] |
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Silence-Blindside |
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Well...It's finally almost here...tonight is the last night before i leave for camp til friday...
Everytime I go to something associated with church(trips anyway) I learn something new about myself, and especially about the people around me...Don't be surprised if i tell you that I cried...because I know i will...it'll probably mostly be at the end of the week, but I seem like I have to cry once a week...
I have no idea what to expect for this year...absolutely no effing clue...I'm not sure if i will come back frustrated, or absolutely amazed...or just plain happy
i can never be too confident about my relationships or friendships with people...all i can do is pray like crazy that it's a smooth week...I need to laugh..I need to cry...but i do NOT need to be pissed off...any questions?
Well...this will probably be my last entry til saturday, so everyone take care, and please if you pray keep me in your prayers...I'm so nervous.
(I love you guys!)
*Ana*
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| Life is not what I thought it was 24 hours ago... |
[10 Jul 2004|07:41pm] |
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24-Switchfoot |
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I found this today...
This is your chance to tell me what you really think of me. Be honest, be brutal, be mean. Post anonymously, or else I will know who you are, and so will everyone else, so don't say I didn't warn you. BE MEAN AND HONEST, believe me, I will love you for it
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| oh boy...can't believe i'm doing this one... |
[09 Jul 2004|09:14pm] |
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My Stupid Mouth-John Mayer |
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x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x]
What's your name? ::: Aner, AL, or kind of Ana
Birthplace ::: Akron City Hospital
Age ::: 15 1/2...only a bit more til the big 1-6
Age you act ::: Early 20s, so I'm told...I was mistaken for 24 by Erin's kids in her class (:
Current location ::: Those mystical and magical falls of cuyahoga, ohio
Eye color ::: green...i actually really like them
Hair color ::: light light brown..almost blonde..but hopefully i can get some colour in there soon
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? ::: lefty all the way
Zodiac sign? ::: I used to care...not so much anymore..but yea..I'm a Scorpio..puh.
Height? ::: 5'6"
[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]
Your heritage/nationality ::: Irish, Scottish, French, German, Dutch, British,...Mostly British and Scotch-Irish
Your hair ::: curly and supa short.
Your fears ::: elevators...those subway train things in Chicago..*shivers* and indescribable smells
Your perfect room ::: I soon will have that...My Mom bought me a parasol..a bright orange one and we're going to paint my room a light/bright orange (: i already have my own computer, tv, phone and 2 cd players..I feel like a jerk.
What you practically do in a day ::: wake-up. eat. sit. eat. sit. eat. go to bed.
[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]
Words you overuse ::: Quite, eek, fat head, jerk, poo
Phrases you overuse ::: Dumb Dumb Dumb...
Your first thought when you wake up ::: fuck.
Your greatest accomplishment ::: It's a great accomplishment everytime I walk out of the thrift store carrying yet another bag of clothes
Something you want to do ::: I want to find a store that is covered in brightly coloured clothing and bright colours in general..and I just want to shop there on a regular basis.
[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]
Pepsi or Coke ::: Coca-Cola Classic, fur shazzle
McDonald's or Burger Kings ::: dann you, fast food. damn you.
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera ::: sigh. I cannot express my feelings on this in only so many words
Chocolate or vanilla ::: Gotta have 'em swirled.
Adidas or Nike ::: I really truly prefer my reef sandals...but Adidas could be the winner.
Black or white ::: Black and white photos.
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) ::: Bling.
Burgers or hot dogs ::: Not hot dogs because b&k can die...but I can always eat a burger at swenson's with my sister. (:
Egypt or France ::: Ahh...the romance...is NOT in Egypt. puh.
Rock or rap ::: It's very hard to find me caught ever listening to rap..unless I'm shaking my bootay at a school dance, which does not mean I thorougly enjoy the music, I'm just left with no other option. So, yes. I enjoy rock.
[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]
Smoke ::: no
Cuss ::: well...there was that ONE time... 0:)
Sing well ::: So I've been told...but it could be all LIES.
Sing in the shower :::oh every time...and I'm such a jerk for blasting my music everytime :\
Talk to yourself --a lot-- ::: I don't actually talk out loud to myself, believe it or not..but you wouldn't even begin to know how much I think to myself.
Believe in yourself :::ehh..not enough.
Like taking these longass surveys? ::: I'm not even so sure anymore....
Play an instrument ::: Dumb dumb flute...
Want to go to college? ::: I'm sayin YES
Want to get married? ::: Sure, when the time comes.
Want to have children? ::: Oh yes. Already seen dat nephew of mine and babies are fiiiine.
Think you're a health freak? ::: I love the mustard seed(health food store) but I'm not much of a health freak.
Get along with your parents ::: I do what i can
Get along with your siblings? ::: Molly-yea...i guess Erin-Most the time yes, but we've got to fight one time or another
Think you're popular ::: HAH.
[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]
Gone out of state ::: Sure have. Good ol Kentucky.
Drank alchohal ::: Yes. Kahlua. But only a small glass. I promise.
Smoke ::: Def not.
Get high ::: shut up. that's a dumb dumb question to ask me.
Done any drugs ::: Dramamine??
Eaten an entire box of oreos ::: eff you, oreos.
Been on stage ::: Not really
Gone skinny dipping ::: nah.
Been dumped ::: nope...
Dyed your hair ::: I was going to...
Stolen anything ::: nerp.
[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]
Craziest ::: Matt
Loudest ::: Kalee
Most shy ::: I really don't think i have any really shy friends...probably myself
Blondest ::: DEFINITELY Kalee
Smartest ::: Johnsta Eley
Kindest ::: Courtney
Best personality ::: Matt and Courtney
Most talented ::: Oh John-John
Best singer ::: Courtney
Most ghetto ::: Renee (In an "I am SO white" manner)
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) ::: het hem. I'll keep my mouth shut.
Pain in the ass ::: Jason (:
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style))::: Kalee...only when she's dumb about guys...which is often
Funniest ::: Matt
Best person for advice ::: Courtney
Dependable ::: Courtney
Trustworthy ::: Most of my friends are...
Druggie ::: I don't associate myself with that kind..ah wah hah hah
Most likely to end up in jail ::: Renee...for the white dancing definitely...
Person you've known the longest ::: Bobby (: <3
[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]
Last dream ::: I think it was some weird one the other night that all the roads were all messed up...everyone was going the wrong direction and we were about to get into a serious car accident..and i woke up
Last nightmare ::: ^^^^
Car ride ::: yesterday with Bekah, Amanda and Erin :D <33
Last time you cried ::: probably the beginning of this week...or when i got fired
Last movie seen ::: Shrek 2
Last movie rented ::: Secret Window (second time i saw it)
Last book read ::: To Kill A Mockingbird-Harper Lee
Last word said ::: pertruding?
Last curse word said ::: pertruding?
Last time you laugh ::: when my mom said the phones were pertruding out of the walls..so maybe a minute or 2 ago
Last phone call ::: from Molly and I talked to a little girl that I babysat for when i was probably 5 or 6..and now she's like 12..what is this?!?! crazy! that is what it is!!
Last CD played ::: an O.A.R. mix
Last song you listened to ::: Whose Chariot-O.A.R.
Last annoyance ::: my head itched.
Last IM ::: John John!
Last weird encounter ::: *shudders* erin would know..the scene down in downtown akron..the 2 people..ohh *shudders again*
Last person you hugged ::: My Mom (:
Last person you yelled at :: Erin
Last time you wore a skirt ::: At Church...every sunday.
Last time you've been evil ::: Today...cos I'm a jerk... :(
Sarcastic? ::: honestly..what a silly silly question
Last time you fought with your parents ::: probably a couple days ago
Last time you wished upon a star ::: I can never see the stars at my house ):
Played Truth or Dare ::: Probably at a birthday party in like 7th or 8th grade
Spent quality time alone ::: who knows...but it probably felt really amazing
[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]
Are you talking to someone on AIM ::: Jason
Do you feel lonely ::: Every once in a while
Ever TP'd someone's house ::: not a once
How about egging someone's house ::: ^^^
Do you not like dislike not like me? ::: shut up, bitch.
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? ::: oh baby.
Yo Momma ::: Your mom.
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? ::: Always.
What do you think of George Bush? ::: I have no opinion on anything relating to politics because frankly, I don't care.
Any secret fetishes? ::: Silly Puddy...gotta love the squishy texture.
Do you like to wear chains? O_o ::: wtf?...i wear a necklace with a celtic wave for a charm...is that it?
How many languages do you speak? ::: English and workin on dat Spanish...Erin wants to teach me ASL tho...but you don't speak that
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! ::: You're obviously not very experienced and I think you best be toughening yourself up.
Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you =P)) ::: fuck you.
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| You're not making this easy... |
[06 Jul 2004|08:54pm] |
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Promise-Matchbook Romance |
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Fuck. My life bites the absolute big one. You know what, Matt has a theory of not getting your hopes up for things so then if things don't go well, it doesn't hurt as bad. So, he was right. But, I of course got my hopes up.
ok. so maybe this summer wasn't quite what i was expecting.
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| How long must you wait for this? |
[04 Jul 2004|11:00pm] |
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In My Place-Coldplay |
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Sometimes I sit wondering what God's full drawn-out plan is for me...or my friends...but especially when it comes down to a little baby that I never know how old he'll be next time I see him...
"He completely recognizes your voice!...everytime he hears it, he gets this enormous grin on his face!"-Molly today on the phone
Lord, please bring him back to me. He is all I really need.
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| Won't you let me walk away, this time? |
[04 Jul 2004|10:14pm] |
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Float On-Modest Mouse |
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So...once again another not to so "4th of July", holiday...no fireworks...not even sparklers!!! I was yelling in the drugstore with my mom...attempting to throw a fit about it...because dumb drugstores don't even sell fireworks tonight
but at least i got to do some more driving on main roads...I think drove at at least 40 mph tonight...more-so 35 or 30..but hey, be proud of me.
Tomorrow my mom is being majorly cool and taking us up to Legacy Village and Beechwood Place (both really wealthy-ish malls) Legacy Village is outside and my parents say it's beautiful... joy!
A part of me trembles in nervous-ness for camp...first off it'll be weird being at a camp this year and also friendships are questionable with some people...but that's nothing new, am i right?
oh well. I am SOO close to being done with To Kill a Mockingbird...it's amazing. The book has turned out to be pretty good...I love Atticus' views on things...it amazes me...I wish I could be able to look at life the way he does in the book. I'm also just mesmerized by harper Lee's writing style and skill. Not too shabby...
Next I have to read the crucible which I'm not looking forward to quite as much...I think i'm going to pick it up at the library before i go to camp...so, if things aren't going so great..I'll have both my music and reading "material"
i actually bought a new bathing suit yesterday...kinda something i wouldn't normally wear...we'll see how that goes with me having the confidence to even wear it (*ahem* a tad revealing in the chest area...more-so than usual *ahem*)
i'm going to probably go to bed a lot earlier tonight because i'm lazily tired and we're planning on leaving around 10 due to it being a tad of a distance to get up there...(:
take care, everyone...and for those of you who pray...ana needs a little more prayer for herself, mainly for my sanity's sake...and esp after this past week...
*Ana*
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| Everybody knows it sucks to grow up, and everybody does |
[03 Jul 2004|10:45pm] |
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Still Fighting It-Ben Folds (he's becoming so addicting) |
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sometimes i think way too much...and sometimes music does too much for me...like putting me in tears...or when i watch a dumb movie, and i still cry.
sometimes i wish i was someone else....not too much i can do about that...
except, maybe i can force myself to be confident. ehh..
*Ana*
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| I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you |
[03 Jul 2004|01:51pm] |
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music |
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Ben Folds <3 |
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This morning I found the song that I want played at my wedding....it put me in tears...Why was I so oblivious to so much amazing music simply a year ago?
The Luckiest-Ben Folds
I don't get many things
right the first time
in fact, I am told that a lot
now I know all the wrong turns —
the stumbles and falls brought me here
and where was I before the day
that I first saw your lovely face
now I see it everyday
and I know
that I am, I am
I am the luckiest
what if I'd been born
fifty years before you
in a house
on the street where you lived
maybe I'd be outside
as you passed on your bike,
would I know?
and in a wide sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
and I know
that I am, I am
I am the luckiest
I love you more than I have
ever found a way to say to you
next door there's an old man
who lived into his nineties
and one day passed away in his sleep
and his wife, she stayed
for a couple of days and passed away
I'm sorry I know that's a
strange way to tell you
that I know we belong
that I know
that I am, I am
I am the luckiest
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| the smell of smoke is making our lungs explode... |
[02 Jul 2004|11:05pm] |
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disappointed |
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music |
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Franco-Unamerican-NOFX |
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i don't get it...something is feeling terribly wrong.
nothing is the same, i'm unsure with myself, and i'm confused about who i'm supposed to be able to depend on.
it scared the hell out of me tonight when i started coming to this realization...i feel like i'm not allowed to become remotely interested with anyone, because each guy i do somewhat like, it's always a reality smack that i absolutely stand no fucking chance.
because they're always someone that EVERYBODY loves...and i guess i'm really not supposed to be with that kind of guy.
i'm supposed to find some lonely, depressed, and lost guy somewhere...but the ones like that are just about unheard of around here.
i'm pretty sure that by now I'm supposed to be confident and sure of myself...i mean i've had enough encouragement in my life and support that i should be just plain happy.
i'm sooo tired of waiting.
*Ana*
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| She's feeling more alone, than she ever has before |
[01 Jul 2004|08:35pm] |
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peaceful |
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music |
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Brick-Ben Folds Five |
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so...last night I decided for once to actually pray for myself...i always take the time to pray for my friends and family...one by one...but last night i had talked to Courtney about how I don't take the time to pray for myself..and so, right as I layed down, I decided I should. God works in mysterious ways, although I know I shouldn't say everything always has to do with God or prayer. But, he certainly was listening last night, and knew what was best for me.
So, this afternoon i received a phone call from B&K...not sure what to expect..and she was kind of beating around the bush a lot until finally she said "We just don't need you anymore...it's nothing personal."
Nothing personal, my ass.
Anyways, although it sucks that I won't be making money for a while...I haven't felt this good in a while. I mean, I get to sleep in a lot more, more free time for getting my dumb summer reading done and best of all...
NO MORE INTENSE STRESS 2 times a week!
Like I said. God works in mysterious ways...but he rocks.
*Ana*
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| While Frank Sinatra sings stormy weather... |
[30 Jun 2004|08:39pm] |
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Wrong Way-Sublime |
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"Well..people expect me to always forgive and forget, But the thing is, if you're annoying, I really can't forgive the fact that you're still annoying."-Me
Erin told me that it was worth writing down...
So...the fact is..I should be moping right now...I should be dwelling and hating life with a passion,...but what the hey, let's give it a shot and be happy for simple things like:
*Dancing in the shower to Cake's Fashion Nugget...and shouting the lyrics at the top of my lungs
*Finding an old Sublime CD in the basement which contained What I Got, Wrong Way, and Santeria
*Watching some videos on our old video camera, such as Erin's fun times at college or when her and her friends did their mall survey and made millions of comparisons to Blaine, Missouri's famous mall to Chapel Hill Mall..the friendliest mall of all
*Cleaning my room and realizing it looks a hell of a lot better that way
*Going to the thrift store and getting only 4 shirts, but they were certainly good ones...and only for a total of 5 dolllllars.
*getting rid of dumb old shirts from when I wore a lot of dumb stuff...now I have so much room in my drawers!
*doing after dinner running with erin
Just gotta appreciate he good things in life.
I'll learn to deal with the shiat later. deal?
*Ana*
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| I'm not your star. |
[28 Jun 2004|11:23pm] |
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Always Everywhere-K's Choice |
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Sometimes I'm worried that maybe I'm pretending to believe that I'm being myself...but in reality, I'm just being an ass to everyone I know....I still look in the mirror and I'm angry at myself...yea..maybe I have the chance to make some new friends this summer..but I don't believe it's possible mainly since I can't keep my current friends too well and I don't feel like I'm anything too great anymore.
What happened to when it was easy to make friends and people weren't so critical?
Why can't I just go out and have fun like most teenagers can?...
I feel like I'm wasting my teen years by screwing up my personality and the way I look, just to be accepted...But I do feel I don't dress a certain way for anybody, but I kind of feel like I can't convince anybody that...
I feel like no matter what, they're still going to find me immature, clingy, and trying way too hard.
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confusedone88's journal
ecstatic
